Holy Shit

I was trading emails not long ago with Bikeguy. I was admiring his blog and the way he writes just about the sex. I told him that I was going to try to do that…write just about the sex. I will have to try and do that on the next post Bikeguy… could not do it with this one.

I have delayed this particular post because it troubles me somewhat. However, as many of you know by now, this blog is as much about my own therapy as it is anything else. Additionally, several of you have taken to sharing with me, here or in direct emails, your comments, thoughts and different perspectives on the things you read in this blog. I have found almost all of your “reader input” to be most helpful. Consequently, I have decided to go ahead with this post and see what you all think.

A few weeks ago I was in Maine. If you have been reading this blog from the beginning you know that for a black muscled out top, finding a hookup in Maine is like shooting fish in a barrel. That is not at all meant to be disparaging toward men in Maine… it is more a commentary on the scarcity of black gay men in such a predominately white state.

Anyway, I have a good friend there who is a closet gay, and he knows of my proclivity for hot white ass.

I was there on a Thursday night. I had just unpacked my gear, setup the computer and logged on to one of the online sights. Within three minutes I had an IM from “Anonhole” who is a guy with whom I had chatted with before but decided to not hookup with him because, frankly, his pic was not that appealing to me. His IM went something like this:

Anonhole: “Hey 3B, how are you? Are you looking for some hot ass tonight cause if you are I am available and our MUTUAL friend ‘AlphaDog’ told me that I NEED to get with you”

Ok, a bit of background. AlphDog is my very good friend in Maine. He is gay, but very much on the Down Low. You know… one of those guys who has a great profile online, but NO picture… Yeah, I hate that too. Anyway, AlphDog is a middle aged white man with a huge cock that can never seem to get enough sex… male or female. He is very respected in the community, seems to know everyone and somehow, he always has the inside story on anything important. Over the three years that I have known him, I have come to trust what he says.

I had no idea that Anonhole knew AlphaDog, or if AlphaDog knew that Anonhole and I had chatted before. All I knew was that I was horny and probably would not have agreed to hookup with Anonhole except for he referenced AlphaDog. I made sure of the particulars…the nonsmoking thing… the thick cock thing… and oh yeah, the bareback thing. He passed muster and I gave him the hotel address and room number.

Ninety minutes later there is a knock at my hotel room door. I open the door and am DUMBSTRUCK. The guy standing in the door is about 30yo, Sandy brown hair, slim build with that guy next-door look. Not the guy in the picture at all, and I recognized him as the priest of a parish in a town about an hour North of where I was. A little over a year ago I had a brief work assignment near that town and had attended Service at the very where he serves. I felt bad after service because I spent most of the service wondering if he was gay. Some guys you just get a vibe about… and that Sunday I had the vibe about him… or maybe it was that I was particularly horny that day. Whatever the reason he made an impression on me then, and I quickly recognized him in the door of my hotel room. Now you see why I have been troubled about writing this post about … you all know that I fucked him!

Like most scumbags who post either fake pictures or pictures from several years ago, he did not walk in as soon as I opened the door. Instead, he stood there a moment waiting for some signal from me that I would play with him even though he was not the guy in the online

The work that I do requires that I minimize outward expressions of emotions. So the fact that a priest was at my door for the express purpose of being butt fucked… registered nothing on the outside… but all hell was breaking lose on the inside. Nonetheless, within a couple of seconds, my dick decided that… yes… I would fuck him… and yes, I would let him know that I know who and what he is.

Me: “Come in… I have been wanting to get with you for a while now ‘Mike’”

Now it was his turn for a surprise as he slowly walked through the door wondering how I knew his real name. As I closed the door he turned to ask me the question but I answered before he could get the words out

Me: “Our mutual friend AlphaDog mentioned you by name when we spoke last”

This was not true, but turning the table on him was not only enjoyable, it sort of set the tone that I was in control. Seeing him mentally go through the thought process of wondering if Alpha had also told me that he is a priest…frankly… made my dick super hard. Normally I hate the head games that guys play, but I found the head-trip I was putting him through to be as good ad foreplay for me.

We made polite small talk as we both undressed. I made it a point to do all I could to get him to come down from his state of high alert… only to enhance the effect of lowering the boom just a few minutes later.

When naked, he stepped to me confidently… which told me that I had been successful in getting him to lower his defenses. We kissed passionately and I must have told him during a previous chat that my Right nip, in particular, is the “On” switch cause after breaking the kiss, his tong went directly to that nip and worked it like a pro. Not that I needed it… my cock was already sticking straight out and hard as steel.

He soon dropped to his knees, said something stupid about how big and fat my cock is before opening his mouth extra wide and taking it in. I have to admit… dude could suck some cock… no teeth… strong lip pressure at the base… “and honey, that tong danced like nobody was watchin” (sorry for the campy gay line).

After a couple minutes of letting him do his thing, I caught the back of his head with my Right hand and started to face fuck him… hard! He was good and initially could take the head of my cock down his throat with out gagging…initially is the operative word here… after about a minute of solid, nonstop thrusting of my fat cock down his throat… it started to get the best of him. That slimy phlegm was all over my cock and dripping down his chin. His hands went from stroking the back of my thighs, to pushing on the front of my thighs, trying to get away. We struggled like this a bit more thrusts before I let him go.

I gave him a few seconds to catch his breath and sort of regain himself. He was on the floor on hands and knees, breathing hard. I stood above him stroking my slimy cock

Me: “Get on the bed… on your back”

Anonhole: “I do better if I start out on my knees”

I did not say a word… I just looked him directly in the eyes and shook my head “No”.

He caught the change in my demeanor and instead of arguing, he did as he was told.

On the bed with his legs pulled to his chest and a pillow under his ass, his hole was at the perfect angle for me to get the deepest penetration. I spit on his hole three times and once on my still slimy cock head and placed it at his opening. Before I entered him I looked him in the eye… I smiled and I waited for him to relax and smile back at me… then I lowered the boom.

Me: “I really enjoyed your homily last year Father Mike”

When he heard “Father”, his smile was instantly gone and it was at that very moment that I sank deep into him with a powerful thrust. I know it hurt him as he yelled out in pain.

I honestly did not know what his reaction would be… what he would say… if I would respond if he told me to stop…this was a priest after all, a position that I have always respected… so instead of waiting after that initial thrust to let his hole adjust to my girth, I just went for it. Leaning forward I pressed and held his knees to his chest and use the power in my hips quads and hamstrings to assault his hole… useing my fat cock like a battering ram.

Anonhole was loud. With every down stroke he yelled “Aah, Aah, Aah”. And things like

Anonhole: “ya...aa…oo …arrr…ripp…nn…eee ….plll…eee…zz”

I knew I was hurting him… and yeah… I feel terrible now, but I had slipped into that dark side of my sexual personality that feeds on the aggression. Even though he was very loud, I could not hear him… I mean, I could… but I couldn’t… probably does not make sense… it is hard to explain.

I think I fucked him like this for only about three minutes until I felt the hard slap from his right hand across my face. As quick as I went to the dark place, I back to myself and quickly pulled out of him with an audible pop. As soon as I let his legs go, he immediately put his hands over his hole and clamped his legs together…rolling onto his side.

I flopped down on my back beside him. Neither one of us said anything for about two minutes. I broke the silence with

Me: “Are you ok?”

Anonhole said nothing, he got off the bed and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I beat myself up in my head pretty good while he was in there. When he came out, he walked over and sat next to me on the bed. Staring at the bedroom wall he said

Anonhole: “So… you know”

Me: “Yeah, I know… I have been to your church before”

Anonhole: “So what the fuck was that…some kind of punishment?”

Me: “No…at least that is not what I intended it to be…I…I am sorry…sometimes, I get carried away… I am so very sorry”

After another long pause, he said

Anonhole: “Look, I don’t know what you think about priests… but we too are human”

Me: “I realize that”

Anonhole: “Contrary to what you may think about me…. About… this…I don’t do this a lot. Maybe a couple times in a year… and usually only through another person who…who knows me well…knows about me… mostly other priests like me”

Me: “And your profile?”

Anonhole: “I just chat there…until now I have never met up with anyone on there and only did this time because…well ya know…Dennis (AlphaDog)… I don’t even have my real picture up there, obviously” he said with a slight smirk. Most times when I am horny, I get on there chat, look at pictures and beat off…usually that is enough for me.”

Me: “Look...Fa…whatever, I am sorry for being so rough… in my head I was going back and forth between being extremely turned on that I was fucking a priest to seeing myself burning in hell…and it was just… a reaction… like a kid who cant handle and emotional situation and lashes out aggressively cause he knows nothing else…I don’t know…ya know?”

Anonhole: “I forgive you and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me”

Me: “Forgive you for what?”

Anonhole: “For giving in to my carnal desire… for not being the Shepard that God intends for me to be to you and others”

Me: “Look Father, lets not do this now… not while we are sitting naked on a bed that we just fucked on”

Anonhole: “Agreed… some other time”

Me: “I will say this…the fact that I met you like this… makes me a stronger believer because as you sit here on my bed…freshly fucked… there is no denying that in addition to being one of God’s chosen, you are also gay… just like me.”

With that said, Anonhole turned and looked at me for the first time since he came out of the bathroom. He said nothing, but leaned over and kissed me with one of the most passionate kisses I have ever had.

With that we proceed to… well… I know some of you are going to hat this but… we did not fuck… we just sort of made out for the next hour. Before he left, we did manage to suck each other off… but the fuckin was done for the night…which…all things considered…was totally cool with me. By the way, the good Father delivered a MONSTER load…very tasty too.

In retrospect, I wish I had not fucked the priest for a couple of reasons. First, I just have a problem with it in my head…but like the good Father said, they are human too…I am just torn there. Second, I cant remember ever slipping over to the dark side like that so quickly and deeply. I truly fear that if he had not hit me when he did, I could have done some serious damage. Look, I like aggressive sex… no doubt… but I am not out to hurt anyone…especially in a situation when I am sort of out of control.

Sorry about this very long post that is more psycho than sex…but as I stated when I started this blog… I am writing it for me… to help me deal with my shit… you are welcome to read, comment and all that…and I will try to write shorter “just the sex” post…but I needed to get this one out of my head.