Sorry I have been behind on writing up my own experiences but here is one and I continue to work on others as I get the time. If you like this blog and want to help me keep it going, then please write to me about either the first time you were fucked, or your first bareback (top or bottom) and I will guest post here to fill in the gaps between my own experiences. Blk4whtass@live.com
He is not my type at all. He is 6’1”, 32” waist, and blond hair turning pre-maturely gray at 36 years old. We had a nice, direct and to the point chat where he actually made the first critical move by saying
NMT: “I am usually the top, but something about you make me want bottom for you”
It is not like I have not heard that one before…and 9 times out of 10, I simply let them down gently and continue my hunt for “The Cable Guy” type man who is willing…or not so willing… to take my fat black cock hard and bare up his butt until it spits my cum deep in his guts. I guess NMT was number 10. There was just something about him…about the chat… about how he is an older twink that usually fucks younger twinks…something made me say “Yes” this time and set a fuck-date for Saturday afternoon..
Now don’t get me wrong…NMT is plenty cute…stable…professional gay man who obviously knows his way around Macy’s judging from his rather expensively stylish, yet age appropriate name brand jeans, boots, and polo pull-over sweater and complementary colored dress shirt underneath. His hair was professionally styled, but not over-done…if anything… it trended toward the conservative side.
I honestly did not know what to expect…did not know if my cock would respond fully knowing that his guy is not the type that usually gets me hard.
Trepidations notwithstanding, I instantly started to feel that it would all work out when he knocked on my door at the precise agreed upon time. Gotta love a man with a watch and who plans accordingly!
I opened the door and he came right in…no hesitation…confident, at that point anyway.
We made about 20 seconds worth of small talk, and then I moved in and kissed him. BINGO! What a great fuckin kisser! My dick became rock hard instantly, and mister “I usually top” actually melted into my arms. Not only was he a great kisser, but he was hungry for it…kissing me harder and harder…totally into it which just made my dick harder and harder.
While making out like there is no tomorrow is when shades of the dark-side began to come out. If you have been following this blog then you know that I am trying to suppress the dark-side…keep in manageable…under control. I can’t really say what the trigger was here…the difference in our size…the way he abandon his “Top” side and went totally submissive when I kissed him…the simple fact that I had not had any ass in two weeks…or all of these things together. All I knew at that point was that there would be no suppressing the dark side that day. I was already lost in it.
Taking my tongue out of his mouth, I grabbed him by his full crotch with my right hand and pull him along to the bedroom.
Standing by the bed, I told him to “Get Naked” while I retrieved the lube and some cum towels from the dresser. He was about half naked when I returned to his side. I opened my pants, fished out my fat daddy cock and began stroking it while I watched him strip the rest of the way. His undressing slowed noticeably once he saw my cock, but he continued. Later on as he laid next to me with his butt full of cum, he told me that he slowed down undressing because he was actually trying to think of a way to back out.
Once NMT was naked, he sat on the edge of the bed with his legs together looking like a nervous ten year old boy about to get a whipping from his old man.
I just let him sit there and stew a bit while I got naked, and then I made him lay on the bed with his head hanging over the edge. Once into position, I gently rubbed the fat head of my cock over his lips.
Me: “Open”
He did so tentatively and I put about half my cock in his mouth. He began sucking me slowly at first. After about a minute he was feeling more comfortable and started to suck with abandon…that is when I jammed my cock into the back of his throat, and held it there. His head was pinned between my body and the mattress, but the rest of his body literally came up off the bed, and flapped all around trying to get my cock out of his throat so that he could breath again. I let him struggle for only a few seconds before pulling all the way out of his mouth…a thick strand of throat phlem stretched between my cock and his lips.
Me: “Stay down… you are ok!”
NMT was still on his back, but he had spun around so that his feet were at the edge of the bed where his head hung just a moment ago, and he was fast trying to scoot away from me to the other side of the bed and freedom. As he scrambled, I caught his left ankle in my right hand, and a second later captured his other ankle in my left hand. With one strong pull, I had his bare ass at the edge of the bed, almost perfectly aligned with my phlem covered cock head.
NMT was looking at me with panic in his eyes.
Me: “Breath….settle down…this is what you came here for”
NMT continued to stare at me, but as my words sunk in, his body became a little less tense.
NMT: “I need the poppers Sir”
Me: “That is fine…go ahead”
NMT bent forward and retrieved the poppers that he brought with him and set on the night stand next to the bed. I let him take about four big pulls on that popper bottle while I lubed his hole and then my cock. Once he had the cap back on the popper bottle, I drew his legs up and pushed them to his chest, giving me full access to his hole. I placed the head of my cock at his hole and then pressed into him with a strong steady push until the head of my cock was past his ring. It was my intention to hold there for about a minute until his hole completely dilated, but I swear, NMT was making this sound…it was a cross between a guttural grunt and I higher pitched whimper…that coupled with the closed eyes and the look of struggle on his face was too much…I had to fuck the shit out of him.
The first five strokes were rough and painful for us both. Lets just say that I knew he was telling the truth when he said that he usually Tops. While he was no virgin, his ass was damn close to it…the boy was mega tight for those first five strokes. Thankfully, beyond that, he his hole gave in to the battering of my cock and opened to the point where it was enjoyable for me. I don’t think NMT started enjoying it until around stroke twenty and after his second big hit of poppers.
I cant really tell you how long I fucked him because I slipped completely into the dark side where I just got lost in the sight, sound, smell and feel of the moment…of the fuck. It honestly is like I go into this zone…I could hear NMT, and I can see NMT but the only things that registered were sounds and sights that spur me on to more and more aggressiveness…the sounds and sights of struggle…of being taken…hard.
After a while there was a rhythm…NMT’s legs were pinned to his chest by my entire upper body which was resting completely on top of him and my head was next to his…his mouth was against my left ear…with every down stroke NMT grunted…as I recoiled for another thrust he made that higher pitched whiny sound…his hole was completely open to me…he felt great on my cock…his arms were wrapped around me and his finger nails dug into my muscular back as my cock continued to assault his hole. Usually I move the bottom around to all sorts of different positions…but not NMT…not this time…I was single focused…drilling his hole. I had applied lube only once at the beginning, but after awhile, he was so wet with ass mucus that his ass cheeks and my balls were sloppy wet as well.
Even later in this continuous ass drilling, the grunting and whining stopped and NMT was all but totally limp. The only sound left was the sticky slap of my balls on his ass. Then NMT, turned his mouth directly to my ear and whispered
NMT: “Please Sir…Make me YOURS! Please Sir”
In all truth, I was very near ready to cum anyway…but when he said that in my hear…in a masculine, yet submissive tone…FUCK MAN…that put me right over the top and I loaded him up with a weeks worth of cum.
As soon as I pulled out of him, I went down on him and he tried to stop me saying
NMT: “No…Sir…I usually cant cum when I bottom… I don’t think I can”
Turning my body so that my wet and dripping cock was near his face, I said
Me: “ I want you to look at my cock and think about what this fat cock has just done to your hole”
Then I began to suck him once again. Within 30 seconds he was hard in my mouth. Then I took hold of his right index finger and brought it to his own gaping hole that was now leaking my thick cum. As his fingers became covered in cum, he shot a massive load in my mouth.
After swallowing his load, I laid back on the bed. NMT instantly put his head on my chest and cuddled up next to me as if he was entitled or something…after the ass drilling I gave him… I guess he was. We actually laid there and talked for about forty-five minutes. Then he was going to get up and go, but he started kissing me again…he got a second load…I just love cummy hole!
Showing posts with label Dark Side. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dark Side. Show all posts
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Another Confession: James
I originally decided that I was not going to write about this encounter because I again have to confess going over to the dark-side. Because, I literally thought for an entire weekend that I had fucked up and would lose everything that I had worked so hard to achieve. Because it involves someone that I work with and I usually only write about tricks that I will likely never see again. Because I still do not fully understand why I took the risk I took and why I became so angry with the person who was just trying to tell me that he too is gay.
Over the years I have worked with him on several occasions on several different assignments. From the first time we were assigned to the same project team, there was something between us. I absolutely hate the term “Gaydar” and refuse to call it that. It was just something about the way in which we interacted…the way he would catch me staring at him and he would refuse to look away until I did…yet still, nothing was ever said.
James falls perfectly within my wheelhouse of what I like. He is in his early 40’s, dark brown close crop almost military hair cut. Probably and even 6’ tall and somewhere between a 36” and 38” waist depending upon the cut of the pants. He as a slight mid-section but he also has muscle definition in his arms, shoulders and chest. Having had seen him several times changing and in the shower, his hairy chest with a “happy trail” leading into his groin and slightly above average cut cock has always provided me with ample jack-off fader.
Even though there has always been this unmistakable…thing…between us, neither one of us ever acted on it or said anything that was in anyway unprofessional or inappropriate, at work or elsewhere. One reason for this…on my part anyway… was the bright gold wedding band on his finger. From common chit chat I knew that James was married and had a kid…a daughter I believe.
All of this changed several months back. Originally, I heard through the work grapevine that James was taking a transfer to the Seattle Office. Then a few weeks after that I happened to see James at one of our mandatory meeting, which was strange if he was now working out of Seattle. I asked a buddy of mine next to me about it and he had heard that that all fell threw for some personal reasons. Later that day, I noticed that James was no longer wearing his wedding ring. Putting two and two together I figured that the personal reason was a pending divorce.
A few months ago, James and I were assigned to a short project with a few others. When I had the chance I asked him
Me: “How is the family…well I hope”
James: “Yes, but my wife and I have divorced and she has taken a new job on the West Coast”
Me: “I am so sorry to hear that…must be hard on the little one”
James: “Well she seems to be coping well. She says she likes having a home on each coast”
Like most guys when talking about sensitive subjects, this entire conversation took place with minimal eye contact, but when I said:
Me: “Well we will have to get together for a beer… or something soon then”
As soon as I said this, James looked me straight in the eyes saying nothing for a moment…just looking at me as if he were trying to decide if I was just talking and being polite, or if I were making a loaded statement. After his silence had be come somewhat awkward, he said
James: “Umm Yeah we will have to do that some time”
And then he walked away.
Actually, I was just being polite, but his reaction gave me pause and I once again began to wonder…is he…or isn’t he?
A couple of weeks later I ran into him at work on a Friday afternoon. I made a snap decision to go for it and asked him if he had plans that night. He said no, so I invited him over to my place for pizza and beer since the house mate was gone for the weekend. Again, he paused giving me that nervous look before saying
James: “Okay…about 1900 hrs?”
Me: “Perfect…I think we should get to know each other better”
Pause…
James: “Umm Okay… see you later then”
I don’t know folks… you tell me… I thought I was pretty direct and struck an appropriate balance between being cordial and suggestive. I mean I think most would see that invitation as something more than just drinking buddies hanging out… or maybe not.
True to form, James showed up right at 1900 hrs. He brought some high end beer and was looking very sexy in just a plain t-shirt and blue jeans…just your average regular hot man.
I directed him to the couch and gave him a beer. I made a point of making eye contact with him and holding it. We did not say anything for like a full minute…just stared at each other…AGAIN FOLKS, yet another indication that he knew exactly what was going down.
At this point I was hard as a rock and it was obvious. I looked down at my crotch so that he would do the same… and he did…but said nothing, just returned to staring at me though his legs were spread a part and he held his beer bottle with both hands in the middle of his crotch…I think to hide his own boner.
Still without saying a word, I stepped between his legs and began to unbuckle my belt. I swear he looked like the proverbial deer stuck in the headlights. Just as I was pulling down my sipper James snapped back out of his trance…jumped up off the couch and said
James: “You have the wrong idea about me…I mean I am straight dude… I’m not….ya know”
He said all of this while he made a beeline for the door.
I literally kicked my own ass for the rest of the night. How could I be so incredibly stupid? Coming on to a Straight guy…that I work with!!! All that night and all the next day, all I could imagine was James telling everyone at work what happened. I envisioned be fired for sexual harassment and brought up on charges. Without a doubt, it was right up there with the worst 48 hours of my life.
I repeatedly called James’ cell leaving messages apologizing for my huge mistake, although my pride would not allow me to ask him to keep it between us…I mean…I own my actions and accept the consequences for those actions.
At 1000 hrs Sunday morning I am sitting in my robe in front of the tv only half watching Sunday Morning with Charles…whoever…and there is a knock at my door. I have to admit, I had a moment of panic…I thought I would have at least one more day before the shit hit the fan and all hell broke lose. When I opened the door, there stood James in that same t-shirt and jeans from Friday night. I stood there holding the door open…staring at him… prepared for the barrage of insults…anger…threats. All he said was
James: “May I come in?”
Me: “For what… to make me feel even more like a shit-head?”
Whit that, James stepped in the door, carefully closed the door behind him, turned back to me and kissed me full on the mouth…tongue and all. To say I was in shock does not even begin to cover it.
When he broke the kiss he said
James: “I have thought about doing that for about two years now”
After a moment or two, my shock was replaced with rage!
Me: “DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKIN IDEA THE SHEAR HELL YOU HAVE PUT ME THROUGH THE LAST TWO FUCKIN DAYS!”
I swear my fists were balled up and I was about to through a punch. Sensing this, James put his palms up and slowly stepped back saying
James: “Yes I do, but give me a break…You have to remember what it was like when you first…finally admitted to yourself that you like guys! That shit aint easy…so I have been going through just as much fuckin shit as you!”
I was not appeased and I had now backed him into a corner
James: “Look, we both know why I am here…so you can either beat the shit out of me or fuck the shit out of me…but you are not going to do both…so which is it?”
I have to give James credit here…in our job we are all trained and highly skilled at defusing tense/aggressive situations…this was straight out of the text book and it worked. I snapped off my robe revealing a fat black cock that was…I kid you not…as hard as fuckin steel. I don’t know if it was the attraction, the emotion of the situation, the shear relief of what I had been stewing about all weekend or all of the above, whatever it was I was crazy horny and hard.
As my robe hit the ground I issued a one word command
Me: “Follow!”
I led James to my bedroom. Once there I went straight to the night stand and pulled out my cock-ring and the high end lube. I had no idea if James had ever been fucked before, if he was clean or dirty or what…at that moment I could give a flying fuck…I was going to take out all of my frustration and emotion on his ass. The cock-ring is significant. A cock-ring on my fat cock simply makes it a battering ram…for a long time!
By the time I turned back to James, he was down to just his white gym socks and a 6.5” hard-on.
As I pushed him down on the as yet unmade bed, he saw that look in my face… he saw the dark-side and he started to say something like “Please don’t hurt me” or “Please go slow”, but he was cut of half way through the word “Please” as I slapped him hard across the face.
I waited for a response… I waited for him to swing back…I wanted to fight… I wanted to fuck him up…then fuck…him up the ass! But instead of swinging back he held my gaze for a moment and then simply turned over offering up his very hot and slightly hairy hole…Just like he said downstairs “…you are not going to do both!”
Again, like a true pro, this simple act decelerated my aggression a bit more. Oh I am still pissed off, but now I am again focused on fucking rather than fighting.
I swear I dumped a half a bottle of lube in his ass and took a good ten minutes just work my way up to three fingers in his ass. It usually take four fingers to open a hole large enough to take my fat cock, but I wanted this to hurt. I lined up my battering ram and with one hard thrust was able to get about half way into him. Needless to say, this hurt him a great deal and all measures of decorum and defusing went out the window. At this point we were fuck-fighting.
After that first thrust, James did everything he could to get away and he almost did a couple of times. But, after a minute or so I was able to regain leverage and thrust again…this time making it about three quarters of the way in. James was yelling at the top of his lungs in pain, throwing elbow back trying to knock me off him but I rode him like a bronco. With my dick as hard as it was and fortified with tight cock-ring all I had to do is keep the pressure up. With every squirm and attempt to get away, my cock sunk a little further. After about a full two minutes of this, I was balls deep in his ass and the fight in him was dwindling so he moved less but his mouth picked up the slack calling me every name in the book…I was particularly proud of
James: “Get that Nigger Dick Out Of Me…You killing me you Black Son of A Bitch!”
And this one a bit later
James: “Don’t you dare shoot that Monkey Juice In Me!”
But by this time he uttered that last one, the racial slurring had become part of the scene…in that we were both egging each other on with the most vulgar and demeaning language that we could come up with. Normally I am not down with such language but some how…for some reason…it fit here and made the fuck incredibly hotter!
Me: “Who’s the Nigger!...Who’s the Nigger…you the Nigger after I fill you white belly full of my black babies”
James: “Oh…Fuck Yes…DO IT…DO IT!”
I swear I shot a pint of cum up his ass
Me: “Uunnnaaa…Unnnaa…Unnnaas Yeah…Yeah….take that Nigger load you filthy White Bitch”
With the cock-ring I stayed hard and well after I was done dumping my load up his ass I kept fucking him and rolled us both over onto our side so that he could get to his cock.
Me: “You hear that…You hear me churning all of that cum up in your ass…hear how wet you are with my cum bitch”
That was all it took…James shot a massive load…I mean MASSIVE…as in he must not have cum in a month, all over my bed sheets.
Needless to say, we were both extremely exhausted. I don’t think either one of has slept all weekend. Once my cock finally slipped out of his ass, I reached down and pulled the sheets and covers over us and we promptly fell asleep.
I woke up around noon to find James already awake and staring up at the ceiling. Again, I am no psychologist but I know a man who needs to talk some things through when I see one. I got up and fetched us a couple of bottled waters from the upstairs frig and we stayed in bed and just talked until about 4:00. I am not going to go into that conversation here…all of you reading this who have “Come Out” already know the conversation chapter and verse. At 4:30 we fucked again but in a much more tame fashion.
Under the umbrella of full disclosure, I only decided to write this story last night after watching my first episode of …I hate to admitted it but after so much pressure from all of the gay people I know, I finally watched my first episode of “Glee”. Okay Okay it was not bad…not great and I don’t think I will make a habit of it…but not bad. Anyway it was the episode where the gay kid confronts his bully oppressor and the bully ends up kissing him…basically revealing that he too is gay.
After watching that show I was sitting there thinking about how hard it is for us to really be who we are especially after we have invested so much in trying to convince others and ourselves that we are something that we are not. At that point I decided that I am ready to write this very true story. To this day I still do not know why I was so angry when James basically said “Hey, I am just like you.” I know this is a very long story, but if you have any thoughts…please share.
Oh Yeah, before you ask…no James and I have not fucked again…I think the first fuck ruined the potential for fuck buddies, but we are very good friends.
Over the years I have worked with him on several occasions on several different assignments. From the first time we were assigned to the same project team, there was something between us. I absolutely hate the term “Gaydar” and refuse to call it that. It was just something about the way in which we interacted…the way he would catch me staring at him and he would refuse to look away until I did…yet still, nothing was ever said.
James falls perfectly within my wheelhouse of what I like. He is in his early 40’s, dark brown close crop almost military hair cut. Probably and even 6’ tall and somewhere between a 36” and 38” waist depending upon the cut of the pants. He as a slight mid-section but he also has muscle definition in his arms, shoulders and chest. Having had seen him several times changing and in the shower, his hairy chest with a “happy trail” leading into his groin and slightly above average cut cock has always provided me with ample jack-off fader.
Even though there has always been this unmistakable…thing…between us, neither one of us ever acted on it or said anything that was in anyway unprofessional or inappropriate, at work or elsewhere. One reason for this…on my part anyway… was the bright gold wedding band on his finger. From common chit chat I knew that James was married and had a kid…a daughter I believe.
All of this changed several months back. Originally, I heard through the work grapevine that James was taking a transfer to the Seattle Office. Then a few weeks after that I happened to see James at one of our mandatory meeting, which was strange if he was now working out of Seattle. I asked a buddy of mine next to me about it and he had heard that that all fell threw for some personal reasons. Later that day, I noticed that James was no longer wearing his wedding ring. Putting two and two together I figured that the personal reason was a pending divorce.
A few months ago, James and I were assigned to a short project with a few others. When I had the chance I asked him
Me: “How is the family…well I hope”
James: “Yes, but my wife and I have divorced and she has taken a new job on the West Coast”
Me: “I am so sorry to hear that…must be hard on the little one”
James: “Well she seems to be coping well. She says she likes having a home on each coast”
Like most guys when talking about sensitive subjects, this entire conversation took place with minimal eye contact, but when I said:
Me: “Well we will have to get together for a beer… or something soon then”
As soon as I said this, James looked me straight in the eyes saying nothing for a moment…just looking at me as if he were trying to decide if I was just talking and being polite, or if I were making a loaded statement. After his silence had be come somewhat awkward, he said
James: “Umm Yeah we will have to do that some time”
And then he walked away.
Actually, I was just being polite, but his reaction gave me pause and I once again began to wonder…is he…or isn’t he?
A couple of weeks later I ran into him at work on a Friday afternoon. I made a snap decision to go for it and asked him if he had plans that night. He said no, so I invited him over to my place for pizza and beer since the house mate was gone for the weekend. Again, he paused giving me that nervous look before saying
James: “Okay…about 1900 hrs?”
Me: “Perfect…I think we should get to know each other better”
Pause…
James: “Umm Okay… see you later then”
I don’t know folks… you tell me… I thought I was pretty direct and struck an appropriate balance between being cordial and suggestive. I mean I think most would see that invitation as something more than just drinking buddies hanging out… or maybe not.
True to form, James showed up right at 1900 hrs. He brought some high end beer and was looking very sexy in just a plain t-shirt and blue jeans…just your average regular hot man.
I directed him to the couch and gave him a beer. I made a point of making eye contact with him and holding it. We did not say anything for like a full minute…just stared at each other…AGAIN FOLKS, yet another indication that he knew exactly what was going down.
At this point I was hard as a rock and it was obvious. I looked down at my crotch so that he would do the same… and he did…but said nothing, just returned to staring at me though his legs were spread a part and he held his beer bottle with both hands in the middle of his crotch…I think to hide his own boner.
Still without saying a word, I stepped between his legs and began to unbuckle my belt. I swear he looked like the proverbial deer stuck in the headlights. Just as I was pulling down my sipper James snapped back out of his trance…jumped up off the couch and said
James: “You have the wrong idea about me…I mean I am straight dude… I’m not….ya know”
He said all of this while he made a beeline for the door.
I literally kicked my own ass for the rest of the night. How could I be so incredibly stupid? Coming on to a Straight guy…that I work with!!! All that night and all the next day, all I could imagine was James telling everyone at work what happened. I envisioned be fired for sexual harassment and brought up on charges. Without a doubt, it was right up there with the worst 48 hours of my life.
I repeatedly called James’ cell leaving messages apologizing for my huge mistake, although my pride would not allow me to ask him to keep it between us…I mean…I own my actions and accept the consequences for those actions.
At 1000 hrs Sunday morning I am sitting in my robe in front of the tv only half watching Sunday Morning with Charles…whoever…and there is a knock at my door. I have to admit, I had a moment of panic…I thought I would have at least one more day before the shit hit the fan and all hell broke lose. When I opened the door, there stood James in that same t-shirt and jeans from Friday night. I stood there holding the door open…staring at him… prepared for the barrage of insults…anger…threats. All he said was
James: “May I come in?”
Me: “For what… to make me feel even more like a shit-head?”
Whit that, James stepped in the door, carefully closed the door behind him, turned back to me and kissed me full on the mouth…tongue and all. To say I was in shock does not even begin to cover it.
When he broke the kiss he said
James: “I have thought about doing that for about two years now”
After a moment or two, my shock was replaced with rage!
Me: “DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKIN IDEA THE SHEAR HELL YOU HAVE PUT ME THROUGH THE LAST TWO FUCKIN DAYS!”
I swear my fists were balled up and I was about to through a punch. Sensing this, James put his palms up and slowly stepped back saying
James: “Yes I do, but give me a break…You have to remember what it was like when you first…finally admitted to yourself that you like guys! That shit aint easy…so I have been going through just as much fuckin shit as you!”
I was not appeased and I had now backed him into a corner
James: “Look, we both know why I am here…so you can either beat the shit out of me or fuck the shit out of me…but you are not going to do both…so which is it?”
I have to give James credit here…in our job we are all trained and highly skilled at defusing tense/aggressive situations…this was straight out of the text book and it worked. I snapped off my robe revealing a fat black cock that was…I kid you not…as hard as fuckin steel. I don’t know if it was the attraction, the emotion of the situation, the shear relief of what I had been stewing about all weekend or all of the above, whatever it was I was crazy horny and hard.
As my robe hit the ground I issued a one word command
Me: “Follow!”
I led James to my bedroom. Once there I went straight to the night stand and pulled out my cock-ring and the high end lube. I had no idea if James had ever been fucked before, if he was clean or dirty or what…at that moment I could give a flying fuck…I was going to take out all of my frustration and emotion on his ass. The cock-ring is significant. A cock-ring on my fat cock simply makes it a battering ram…for a long time!
By the time I turned back to James, he was down to just his white gym socks and a 6.5” hard-on.
As I pushed him down on the as yet unmade bed, he saw that look in my face… he saw the dark-side and he started to say something like “Please don’t hurt me” or “Please go slow”, but he was cut of half way through the word “Please” as I slapped him hard across the face.
I waited for a response… I waited for him to swing back…I wanted to fight… I wanted to fuck him up…then fuck…him up the ass! But instead of swinging back he held my gaze for a moment and then simply turned over offering up his very hot and slightly hairy hole…Just like he said downstairs “…you are not going to do both!”
Again, like a true pro, this simple act decelerated my aggression a bit more. Oh I am still pissed off, but now I am again focused on fucking rather than fighting.
I swear I dumped a half a bottle of lube in his ass and took a good ten minutes just work my way up to three fingers in his ass. It usually take four fingers to open a hole large enough to take my fat cock, but I wanted this to hurt. I lined up my battering ram and with one hard thrust was able to get about half way into him. Needless to say, this hurt him a great deal and all measures of decorum and defusing went out the window. At this point we were fuck-fighting.
After that first thrust, James did everything he could to get away and he almost did a couple of times. But, after a minute or so I was able to regain leverage and thrust again…this time making it about three quarters of the way in. James was yelling at the top of his lungs in pain, throwing elbow back trying to knock me off him but I rode him like a bronco. With my dick as hard as it was and fortified with tight cock-ring all I had to do is keep the pressure up. With every squirm and attempt to get away, my cock sunk a little further. After about a full two minutes of this, I was balls deep in his ass and the fight in him was dwindling so he moved less but his mouth picked up the slack calling me every name in the book…I was particularly proud of
James: “Get that Nigger Dick Out Of Me…You killing me you Black Son of A Bitch!”
And this one a bit later
James: “Don’t you dare shoot that Monkey Juice In Me!”
But by this time he uttered that last one, the racial slurring had become part of the scene…in that we were both egging each other on with the most vulgar and demeaning language that we could come up with. Normally I am not down with such language but some how…for some reason…it fit here and made the fuck incredibly hotter!
Me: “Who’s the Nigger!...Who’s the Nigger…you the Nigger after I fill you white belly full of my black babies”
James: “Oh…Fuck Yes…DO IT…DO IT!”
I swear I shot a pint of cum up his ass
Me: “Uunnnaaa…Unnnaa…Unnnaas Yeah…Yeah….take that Nigger load you filthy White Bitch”
With the cock-ring I stayed hard and well after I was done dumping my load up his ass I kept fucking him and rolled us both over onto our side so that he could get to his cock.
Me: “You hear that…You hear me churning all of that cum up in your ass…hear how wet you are with my cum bitch”
That was all it took…James shot a massive load…I mean MASSIVE…as in he must not have cum in a month, all over my bed sheets.
Needless to say, we were both extremely exhausted. I don’t think either one of has slept all weekend. Once my cock finally slipped out of his ass, I reached down and pulled the sheets and covers over us and we promptly fell asleep.
I woke up around noon to find James already awake and staring up at the ceiling. Again, I am no psychologist but I know a man who needs to talk some things through when I see one. I got up and fetched us a couple of bottled waters from the upstairs frig and we stayed in bed and just talked until about 4:00. I am not going to go into that conversation here…all of you reading this who have “Come Out” already know the conversation chapter and verse. At 4:30 we fucked again but in a much more tame fashion.
Under the umbrella of full disclosure, I only decided to write this story last night after watching my first episode of …I hate to admitted it but after so much pressure from all of the gay people I know, I finally watched my first episode of “Glee”. Okay Okay it was not bad…not great and I don’t think I will make a habit of it…but not bad. Anyway it was the episode where the gay kid confronts his bully oppressor and the bully ends up kissing him…basically revealing that he too is gay.
After watching that show I was sitting there thinking about how hard it is for us to really be who we are especially after we have invested so much in trying to convince others and ourselves that we are something that we are not. At that point I decided that I am ready to write this very true story. To this day I still do not know why I was so angry when James basically said “Hey, I am just like you.” I know this is a very long story, but if you have any thoughts…please share.
Oh Yeah, before you ask…no James and I have not fucked again…I think the first fuck ruined the potential for fuck buddies, but we are very good friends.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Lil-bit
A few months ago, I was at work on a Friday and wanted to be just about anywhere but there. Not because I don’t like my job… love my job in fact…it was just a slow Friday and I was so ready for the weekend to begin.
Since it was such a slow day, I pulled out my personal computer and wireless internet and quickly went through my various hookup accounts. When I got to Manhunt, I was instantly pinged by this guy I will call Lil-bit. I call him that because he is only 5’7” tall and I am guessing a 31” waist. If you have been following this blog you know this is not my type, however, Lil-bit is in fact a Red Head, which makes up for a lot with me as you know. The other thing about Lil-bit is his persistence. This guy pings me every time he sees me come online for over a year now. We usually have some very polite chat ending with him asking me to come out to his place and fuck him. That chat would always end there because the other negative about Lil-bit, is that he lives over an hour away from Washington DC. As a rule, I am not willing to go that far for a fuck…at least not a “First Time Fuck” which are always unpredictable. However, on this particular Friday I was actually considering it given that work was slow and that it was a very nice day outside.
When I told him that I was considering making that drive it caught him by surprise and he owned up to the fact that he had been chatting with someone else at the same time, and that the guy said that he would be there in forty minutes. I could tell from the tone in his voice that he thought that this would be a deal breaker and that he had missed his chance with me. He was wrong.
I proceeded to ask him a couple of key questions
Me: “Have you played with this guy before”
Lil-bit: “Oh yeah, we hookup about once a month”
Me: “White guy or black”
Lil-bit: “Black”
Me: “What do you usually do with him?”
Lil-bit: “Used to be just sucking him off, but he has fucked me a couple of times, but he is always a quick visit so he will be long gone by the time you get here so…”
Me: “What do you think you two will do this time…I mean…is he going to fuck you?”
Lil-bit: “Probably…yes”
Me: “Does he fuck you Safe or bareback?”
He paused before answering.
Lil-bit: “He fucked me Safe the first time, but bare the second time.”
Me: “Will he breed you?”
Another pause
Lil-bit: “Probably”
Me: “Listen to me very carefully, you are to send me a text when he gets there, and another text when he leaves.”
Lil-bit: “Yes Sir”
Me: “Let him breed you, and do not shower or clean up…I want your cummy hole…is that clear?”
Lil-bit: “Yes Sir”
It took me about ten minutes to get out of the office and on my way to Lil-bit. I was not even out of DC yet when the first text came through saying that Lil-bit’s friend had arrived. Approximately fifteen minutes later I received a second text that it was over and that his friend was in the shower.
I arrived at Lil-bit’s house in exactly one hour and ten minutes. The house was in one of those cookie cutter developments where each house was one of three or four model design, but big…four bedroom and three and a half bath big.
Lil-bit answered the door in a t-shirt, gym shorts and white gym socks. I have to say that Lil-bit has a very average look. His nose is a little too big for his face, but his short red hair and tight body made up for that…especially when he was naked. Naked he had the body of 25 year old instead of his actual 43 years, and for a little guy, he had a gorgeous 8” partially cut cock sprouting from a sandy red bush.
As soon as I was inside the house a few things were obvious…he was partnered. Pictures of him and his partner of several years were hung all over the place. It was also obvious that they had some money, I put the value of the house around 600K and I got the distinct impression that his partner was either a Doctor or Lawyer and that Lil-bit was a House Husband…working on taking care of the house and dogs while hubby brought home the bacon.
In that moment when you make small talk before sex, Lil-bit proudly showed me through the downstairs pointing out the elaborate crown molding, wall papering, and electrical work all done by him.
As we made our way up to the guest bedroom I asked him about his partner
Me: “Obviously your are partnered and in an open relationship?”
Lil-bit: “Yes, but it is more don’t ask don’t tell…although he had an 18 year old up here the other night while I was watching tv in the basement”
At hearing this I found myself a bit irritated. This was seeming more and more like a revenge fuck…Look, I am fine with fucking a guy in an open relationship, but otherwise, I don’t want to be caught up in someone else’s shit.
When we got to the spare bedroom, everything was in its place and immaculate…but shouldn’t the bed be messed up if he was just fucked in it an hour ago…especially if I told him not to clean up? A little more irritated.
Once in the room, we wasted no time getting naked. As soon as my cock spring free from my underwear, Lil-bit was on his knees taking it deep in his mouth. That was all good and well, but I did not drive over an hour for a blow job. I literally picked Lil-bit up and tossed him on the bed. I then pushed his very cute little legs up to his chest and dove my tongue into his very pink, but very clean hole…Now I am really irritated….no…at the discovering that there was no cummy hole, I was pissed. Either Lil-bit lied, and there was no other guy…or he lied when he let me believe that he took the guys load when he really did not…or he lied when he said he would not clean up but actually did….either way you cut it, I was lied to and now I am pissed, and I instantly when to the dark side.
After licking his totally dry and clean hole for about a half a minute, I stood, pulled his butt to the edge of the bed, took aim with the head of my fat black cock, and jammed my hips forward. Lil-bit had started to say something but he was not able to finish it as the pain of a nearly dry penetration racked his little body.
On that first stroke, I could only get the head of my cock past his sphincter. He was tight…too tight for someone who supposedly was just fucked and hour ago.
Through gritted teeth, Lil-bit attempted to let me know that hurt only to be cut off by the second full hip thrust which pushed my fat cock another inch in to his protesting hole. Upon this second thrust, I held it there keeping maximum pressure against his hole. With gritted teeth and eyes squinted shut, Lil-bit said
Lil-bit: “Please…please .Sir I cant take it…please Sir”
I abruptly pulled my cock out of his hole and said
Me: “Don’t…Move!”
I then reached over to the bed stand where he had set out some lube and poppers. I poured lube into my hand and massaged it into his hole and then on my cock.
Lil-bit: “I need the poppers Sir”
Me: “Shut the fuck up…what you needed to do was tell me the truth…you don’t have cummy hole…and no one fucked you an hour ago…did they?
After a brief pause he acquiesced
Lil-bit: “No Sir…he called back and said he could not make it…I was afraid that you would not come if I told you…I am sorry Sir”
Me: “Never lie to me…liars have no honor...you are going to get fucked now and trust me, you will remember this for a long time”
With that, I re-entered Lil-bit, going balls deep on the first stroke. His head flew back against the mattress, the veins running along his neck became visible and both fists were clutching the covers.
I had his legs hanging over my forearms and my hands held his forearms down as my hips settled into a quick and aggressive thrusting rhythm. The tightness of his hole lasted for the first twenty to twenty-five strokes. After that, his hole was completely open and my cock moved freely within him. By this time, his pain was subsiding and his demeanor was changing from one of struggle and defense to one of acceptance and pleasure.
I continued to fuck him in this position for a sold fifteen minutes non-stopped. The only sound in the room was the thwack-thwack of my thighs and balls slapping against his upturned butt. We were both completely coved in sweat. By now his body had adjusted to me and he no longer gritted his teeth and squinted his eyes in pain…rather he was staring me straight in the eyes like he was in some sort of trance. His mouth was still open with drool dripping out of the corner and running down along his chin. His cock, no longer hard but very full laid on his belly and there was a sticky stream of pre-cum flowing form the slit.
I worked him over hard for fifteen minutes and then felt the urge to cum. Without warning, I slammed deep in him one more time and let it go. I stopped counting after the fifth pulse of cum shot from my cock into his guts.
When I was done, I kept his legs pinned to his chest as I pulled. This caused his hole to stay open and as my cock came out so did a huge glob of very thick cum, creating a huge wet spot on the covers. I scooped some of it up on my fingers and brought it to his mouth. He eagerly licked my fingers clean.
I laid on the bed beside him for a moment to catch my breath. He sat up on the edge of the bed. His shoulders were slumped and his head hung low. Clearly there was a ton of emotions going on inside of him. I suspect it had something to do with his partner fucking and 18 year old while he was in the house…in short, it was clear that there is some serous trouble in paradise.
Me: “Do you want to talk about it?”
There was no response for almost a minute, then he sat back on the bed Indian style and proceeded to bare his soul for the next thirty minutes. I wont share the content of our discussion here but I was correct…it had everything to do with the changing relationship with his partner. A by-product of his emotional distress was that he had not been able to have sex to the point where he could get off…he would start thinking about the problems with his partner and lose his hard-on.
Now let me be very clear here….I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist or anything of the sort. I am just a guy who has been through some things.
Me: “Go get a picture of your partner…that one in the hallway downstairs will do”
He was very reluctant…he did not know what to make of me…just a bit a go I was literally a beast humping his ass like a rabid dog…now I am like this guy whom he can talk to about personal shit…I understood his confusion and reluctance but with some prodding he went and got the picture.
When he came back in the room with the picture, he saw me standing by the bed lubing my hard cock again and he froze.
Me: “Relax…and just work with me…okay? Come over here and lay that picture face up on top of the wet spot”
Lil-bit: “What…are you crazy?”
Me: “Maybe” I said with a smile “Just humor me… you got nothing to lose”
With that he came over and placed the framed picture in the middle of the wet spot. As he was doing this, I rubbed some lube into his ass. He shivered at the touch of my slick fingers on his tender hole. I made him bend over the side of the bed so that his head was right above the picture of his partner and the wet spot, and I slowly entered him.
Under the umbrella of full disclosure…all I wanted was to fuck him again…and yeah, it is pretty evil me to use his emotional distress to make that happen. I truly do feel bad that I did that for that reason. However, as I was slowly fucking him and gently stroking his back, he began to stroke his very hard cock. He did not take his eyes off the picture of his partner and before long he was pushing back onto my cock and racing to his own orgasm.
When he came, he clamped down so hard on my cock that it instantly sent me over the edge and I dropped a second load into him. Understandably his orgasm was nothing short of an earthquake! He shot ribbon after ribbon of cum onto the bed covers and he had whole body convulsions.
I helped him lay down on the bed where he buried his face in the pillow and quietly cried. I simply gathered my clothes and left the room.
I was about a mile from home when I received a one word text message from him…”Thanks”
Since it was such a slow day, I pulled out my personal computer and wireless internet and quickly went through my various hookup accounts. When I got to Manhunt, I was instantly pinged by this guy I will call Lil-bit. I call him that because he is only 5’7” tall and I am guessing a 31” waist. If you have been following this blog you know this is not my type, however, Lil-bit is in fact a Red Head, which makes up for a lot with me as you know. The other thing about Lil-bit is his persistence. This guy pings me every time he sees me come online for over a year now. We usually have some very polite chat ending with him asking me to come out to his place and fuck him. That chat would always end there because the other negative about Lil-bit, is that he lives over an hour away from Washington DC. As a rule, I am not willing to go that far for a fuck…at least not a “First Time Fuck” which are always unpredictable. However, on this particular Friday I was actually considering it given that work was slow and that it was a very nice day outside.
When I told him that I was considering making that drive it caught him by surprise and he owned up to the fact that he had been chatting with someone else at the same time, and that the guy said that he would be there in forty minutes. I could tell from the tone in his voice that he thought that this would be a deal breaker and that he had missed his chance with me. He was wrong.
I proceeded to ask him a couple of key questions
Me: “Have you played with this guy before”
Lil-bit: “Oh yeah, we hookup about once a month”
Me: “White guy or black”
Lil-bit: “Black”
Me: “What do you usually do with him?”
Lil-bit: “Used to be just sucking him off, but he has fucked me a couple of times, but he is always a quick visit so he will be long gone by the time you get here so…”
Me: “What do you think you two will do this time…I mean…is he going to fuck you?”
Lil-bit: “Probably…yes”
Me: “Does he fuck you Safe or bareback?”
He paused before answering.
Lil-bit: “He fucked me Safe the first time, but bare the second time.”
Me: “Will he breed you?”
Another pause
Lil-bit: “Probably”
Me: “Listen to me very carefully, you are to send me a text when he gets there, and another text when he leaves.”
Lil-bit: “Yes Sir”
Me: “Let him breed you, and do not shower or clean up…I want your cummy hole…is that clear?”
Lil-bit: “Yes Sir”
It took me about ten minutes to get out of the office and on my way to Lil-bit. I was not even out of DC yet when the first text came through saying that Lil-bit’s friend had arrived. Approximately fifteen minutes later I received a second text that it was over and that his friend was in the shower.
I arrived at Lil-bit’s house in exactly one hour and ten minutes. The house was in one of those cookie cutter developments where each house was one of three or four model design, but big…four bedroom and three and a half bath big.
Lil-bit answered the door in a t-shirt, gym shorts and white gym socks. I have to say that Lil-bit has a very average look. His nose is a little too big for his face, but his short red hair and tight body made up for that…especially when he was naked. Naked he had the body of 25 year old instead of his actual 43 years, and for a little guy, he had a gorgeous 8” partially cut cock sprouting from a sandy red bush.
As soon as I was inside the house a few things were obvious…he was partnered. Pictures of him and his partner of several years were hung all over the place. It was also obvious that they had some money, I put the value of the house around 600K and I got the distinct impression that his partner was either a Doctor or Lawyer and that Lil-bit was a House Husband…working on taking care of the house and dogs while hubby brought home the bacon.
In that moment when you make small talk before sex, Lil-bit proudly showed me through the downstairs pointing out the elaborate crown molding, wall papering, and electrical work all done by him.
As we made our way up to the guest bedroom I asked him about his partner
Me: “Obviously your are partnered and in an open relationship?”
Lil-bit: “Yes, but it is more don’t ask don’t tell…although he had an 18 year old up here the other night while I was watching tv in the basement”
At hearing this I found myself a bit irritated. This was seeming more and more like a revenge fuck…Look, I am fine with fucking a guy in an open relationship, but otherwise, I don’t want to be caught up in someone else’s shit.
When we got to the spare bedroom, everything was in its place and immaculate…but shouldn’t the bed be messed up if he was just fucked in it an hour ago…especially if I told him not to clean up? A little more irritated.
Once in the room, we wasted no time getting naked. As soon as my cock spring free from my underwear, Lil-bit was on his knees taking it deep in his mouth. That was all good and well, but I did not drive over an hour for a blow job. I literally picked Lil-bit up and tossed him on the bed. I then pushed his very cute little legs up to his chest and dove my tongue into his very pink, but very clean hole…Now I am really irritated….no…at the discovering that there was no cummy hole, I was pissed. Either Lil-bit lied, and there was no other guy…or he lied when he let me believe that he took the guys load when he really did not…or he lied when he said he would not clean up but actually did….either way you cut it, I was lied to and now I am pissed, and I instantly when to the dark side.
After licking his totally dry and clean hole for about a half a minute, I stood, pulled his butt to the edge of the bed, took aim with the head of my fat black cock, and jammed my hips forward. Lil-bit had started to say something but he was not able to finish it as the pain of a nearly dry penetration racked his little body.
On that first stroke, I could only get the head of my cock past his sphincter. He was tight…too tight for someone who supposedly was just fucked and hour ago.
Through gritted teeth, Lil-bit attempted to let me know that hurt only to be cut off by the second full hip thrust which pushed my fat cock another inch in to his protesting hole. Upon this second thrust, I held it there keeping maximum pressure against his hole. With gritted teeth and eyes squinted shut, Lil-bit said
Lil-bit: “Please…please .Sir I cant take it…please Sir”
I abruptly pulled my cock out of his hole and said
Me: “Don’t…Move!”
I then reached over to the bed stand where he had set out some lube and poppers. I poured lube into my hand and massaged it into his hole and then on my cock.
Lil-bit: “I need the poppers Sir”
Me: “Shut the fuck up…what you needed to do was tell me the truth…you don’t have cummy hole…and no one fucked you an hour ago…did they?
After a brief pause he acquiesced
Lil-bit: “No Sir…he called back and said he could not make it…I was afraid that you would not come if I told you…I am sorry Sir”
Me: “Never lie to me…liars have no honor...you are going to get fucked now and trust me, you will remember this for a long time”
With that, I re-entered Lil-bit, going balls deep on the first stroke. His head flew back against the mattress, the veins running along his neck became visible and both fists were clutching the covers.
I had his legs hanging over my forearms and my hands held his forearms down as my hips settled into a quick and aggressive thrusting rhythm. The tightness of his hole lasted for the first twenty to twenty-five strokes. After that, his hole was completely open and my cock moved freely within him. By this time, his pain was subsiding and his demeanor was changing from one of struggle and defense to one of acceptance and pleasure.
I continued to fuck him in this position for a sold fifteen minutes non-stopped. The only sound in the room was the thwack-thwack of my thighs and balls slapping against his upturned butt. We were both completely coved in sweat. By now his body had adjusted to me and he no longer gritted his teeth and squinted his eyes in pain…rather he was staring me straight in the eyes like he was in some sort of trance. His mouth was still open with drool dripping out of the corner and running down along his chin. His cock, no longer hard but very full laid on his belly and there was a sticky stream of pre-cum flowing form the slit.
I worked him over hard for fifteen minutes and then felt the urge to cum. Without warning, I slammed deep in him one more time and let it go. I stopped counting after the fifth pulse of cum shot from my cock into his guts.
When I was done, I kept his legs pinned to his chest as I pulled. This caused his hole to stay open and as my cock came out so did a huge glob of very thick cum, creating a huge wet spot on the covers. I scooped some of it up on my fingers and brought it to his mouth. He eagerly licked my fingers clean.
I laid on the bed beside him for a moment to catch my breath. He sat up on the edge of the bed. His shoulders were slumped and his head hung low. Clearly there was a ton of emotions going on inside of him. I suspect it had something to do with his partner fucking and 18 year old while he was in the house…in short, it was clear that there is some serous trouble in paradise.
Me: “Do you want to talk about it?”
There was no response for almost a minute, then he sat back on the bed Indian style and proceeded to bare his soul for the next thirty minutes. I wont share the content of our discussion here but I was correct…it had everything to do with the changing relationship with his partner. A by-product of his emotional distress was that he had not been able to have sex to the point where he could get off…he would start thinking about the problems with his partner and lose his hard-on.
Now let me be very clear here….I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist or anything of the sort. I am just a guy who has been through some things.
Me: “Go get a picture of your partner…that one in the hallway downstairs will do”
He was very reluctant…he did not know what to make of me…just a bit a go I was literally a beast humping his ass like a rabid dog…now I am like this guy whom he can talk to about personal shit…I understood his confusion and reluctance but with some prodding he went and got the picture.
When he came back in the room with the picture, he saw me standing by the bed lubing my hard cock again and he froze.
Me: “Relax…and just work with me…okay? Come over here and lay that picture face up on top of the wet spot”
Lil-bit: “What…are you crazy?”
Me: “Maybe” I said with a smile “Just humor me… you got nothing to lose”
With that he came over and placed the framed picture in the middle of the wet spot. As he was doing this, I rubbed some lube into his ass. He shivered at the touch of my slick fingers on his tender hole. I made him bend over the side of the bed so that his head was right above the picture of his partner and the wet spot, and I slowly entered him.
Under the umbrella of full disclosure…all I wanted was to fuck him again…and yeah, it is pretty evil me to use his emotional distress to make that happen. I truly do feel bad that I did that for that reason. However, as I was slowly fucking him and gently stroking his back, he began to stroke his very hard cock. He did not take his eyes off the picture of his partner and before long he was pushing back onto my cock and racing to his own orgasm.
When he came, he clamped down so hard on my cock that it instantly sent me over the edge and I dropped a second load into him. Understandably his orgasm was nothing short of an earthquake! He shot ribbon after ribbon of cum onto the bed covers and he had whole body convulsions.
I helped him lay down on the bed where he buried his face in the pillow and quietly cried. I simply gathered my clothes and left the room.
I was about a mile from home when I received a one word text message from him…”Thanks”
Monday, November 15, 2010
ManBoy
It was a couple weeks ago…a Friday…no…make that Saturday morning at 2:00 AM. I am awakened by the chirp of my cell phone on my night stand. I answered the phone, thinking that there must be an emergency or something for anyone to be calling me at 2 AM.
Me: Hello
ManBoy: Hey **** this is ****, we hooked up a couple of times
Me: Yeah, I remember, what’s up?
ManBoy: I am in town at the ***** hotel was wondering if you wanted to come over mess around.
Yeah, he said “mess around”, and I could tell that he obviously had just gotten in from the bars.
A bit of background…I met the guy about two years ago. I was in one of the more popular Dupont Circle gay bars for happy hour…not my usual thing but I made myself go out that Friday night after work…at times I have a tendency to keep to myself a little too much…boarding on the nonsocial…so my critics masquerading as friends tell me.
This guy, whom I call ManBoy here, is actually a few years older than me. But, with his slight and tight build (ex marine) and his forever high & tight haircut…he looks like he is pushing 30 instead of 50 when he put on a ball cap. I call it a blessing…he calls it a curse because his thing is mature muscular black men who often dismiss him as a twink at first. As a result, he is very aggressive about getting noticed by his target group.
The night we met, I saw him enter the bar with a couple of his friends. He noticed me right away, and spent the better part of an hour all but ignoring his friends while he concentrated on making eye contact with me. In the mean time, a bear/cub couple visiting from out west happened to be sitting next to me at the bar and they wasted no time engaging me in conversation and letting it be known that they would love for me to go back to their hotel room for a little fun. There was no way that was going to happen, but I certainly did enjoy their company, and as it was apparent that we were hitting it off, ManBoy actually left his friends and came to stand next to the couple and me. When the couple and I started to trade cell phone numbers, ManBoy jumped in and made it obvious that he too was taking down my number. When he got my number, ManBoy looked at me and I said, “I see you”. With that, ManBoy returned to his friends with a huge grin on his face. He called me within the hour with his hotel and room number. Long story short, we did fuck that night, but he insisted that I wear a rubber and I did because he and it was a hot scene. He had amazing ass muscle control. Once I got it in, he did the rest…massaging my covered cock until he came which pushed me over the edge and I came.
He comes to Washington often for business. We hooked up a second time a few months after the first, but this time we had communicated on-line several times before hand and the focus of those conversations was over the condom issue. In fact, I was really not that into hooking up again because I like and prefer to fuck bare. We were unable to come to terms on the issue but met up anyway to “mess around”, not necessarily fuck. That was a long session with a ton of oral. The highlight of that visit was my eating his ass…LOVED IT… he has an ass that tastes great, and he can really relax his sphincter so my tongue was able to go very deep in his hole…which drove him wild. By the end of that rimming he gave up the ghost and begged me to fuck him…even bare. I would not. Not that I was being pissy or anything like that…but I Run The Fuck…and he had to learn that lesson. He ended up getting himself off. Before I left, I pointed out that somewhere along the line, his Hard-line on using a rubber when out the fuckin window, and that if I were a man of lesser Honor, he would have cum leaking out of his butt hole right now. His response was to just look away.
Now back to a couple of weeks ago. When I realized it was him on the phone I was a bit irritated for two reasons…first off it was 2:00 fuckin o’clock in the morning. The second reason was that I knew of two other times he was in DC, and he did not contact me… so why now
In short, I told him to put his drunk ass to bed, and that I would be there at 7:00 AM. I would call him when I was on my way so that he could prep accordingly, and then I hung up the phone.
I arrived at exactly 7:00 AM. He answered the door nude, having just came from shower and prep.
There was some small talk…don’t remember hardly any of it as it was mostly nonsense except for when I mentioned that I notice he had been in DC a couple of times and he did not contact me. He gave me some bullshit excuse about thinking I was out of town because I travel so much. By this time I am now naked…I tell him that his answer/excuse is bullshit and push him back onto the bed.
After being with him a couple of times and chatting with him online, I am in his head…in short, I own him now. As he fell back on the bed, I came down on top of him…I know him…“His Thing”, “His Turn-on”… he gets off on the complete opposite of him…which is me. My big black body full on top of his slight white body…he shivered and his cock grew instantly rigid between our bodies.
The point of bringing up the fact that he did not contact me the last couple of times he was in DC was to establish a few things. First, that I have kept track of him…I know when he is in my town…he is not getting over or getting away with shit. Second, I know the reason he did not contact me was because I exposed his true desire of wanting me to take him bareback the last time we hooked up…what he SAID to the contrary notwithstanding. And Third, the fact that he did call me this time means that I WIN…he WILL take it however I give it to him…no debate, no discussion just submission.
And submit he did. I brought his legs up and immediately when to eat his delicious ass for only a couple of minutes though. He was getting into it and getting lose, but I did not want him too louse…not yet. There had to be a bit of punishment to account for not contacting me…for running from me. With just my spit a lube, I lined up the head of my fat black cock and with my muscular hips and thighs I drove into him…balls deep…first stroke…he cried out with a mix of pain and excitement. He begged me to wait and let him hit the poppers…I did. As soon as the poppers kicked in, I began to power fuck ManBoy. His knees where up around his ears, and I was pile-drive fucking him… coming almost all the way out before pile-driving back down into him. When his arms were not flaying about, he was gripping the bed covers tightly in both hands trying to manage the assault on his hole.
I worked up a good sweat working his ass over. I would alternate between power fucking him and eating him out. Each time I stopped to eat him after fucking him a bit, there was a nice layer of butt cream that just made me hornier and hornier. At times I can be a Top Pig
After about fifteen minutes of power fucking and eating ManBoy on his back, I put him on his knees at the edge of the bed. By now he was good and open, but as you bottoms know, there is a huge difference between taking dick on your back as apposed to on all fours…the angle is different, and it creates a whole different sensation. When I went into him on all fours, you would have thought I was penetrating him for the first time. He really struggled with this position, but at least in this position he could continue to hit the poppers at will…which he did. There was so much of that popper smell in the room that even I was starting to feel a little high…which made me fuck harder and faster.
As I talked about in a post a few months ago, I have become pretty good at that Sexual Kung Fu, so I would fuck him all the way up to and through orgasm, but I would halt the ejaculate and not come. This has the effect of allowing me multiple orgasms but because I did not shoot, my dick stays hard…harder in fact…and I just keep fucking.
I am sure that some of you are reading this and thinking that this is not about pleasure or fun…and if I am to be totally honest, which I try to be here…yeah, you are certainly more right than wrong. By this point….about thirty minutes into the fuck…I had had a couple of orgasms and really enjoyed eating his ass…I was fucking him now to make a point…a brutal…and perhaps over the top point. If you have been reading this blog from the beginning, then you know that this was the first time in a long time that I sort of went over to the “dark side” which I wrote about in the early posts of this blog. It is where the ultra aggressive side of me come out and it is much more about dominance and sometimes pain, than it is about pleasure. I try not to go to the darks side…tricks don’t come back from the dark side…in fact, they tend to avoid me at all costs.
I said “I sort of went to the dark side” because I caught myself before it got really bad here. ManBoy was hanging in with me as best he could but it was clear that he was going to be done soon.
I pulled my cock out of his hole…it was gaping open and beet red from the pounding I had just given it. While ManBoy was still on his knees, his whole upper body had collapsed flat against the bed. I gently rolled him over to his back again and rested his thighs on top of my thighs as I was now kneeling on the bed also. Amazingly, his cock was still three quarters hard. He looked at me with an exhausted, “what now” look on his face. Without saying a word, I directed his hands to stroke my nipples and I began to beat off. It did not take me long to literally cover his chest, stomach and groin with my thick globs of cum. As soon as I was done shooting, I gently nudged the head of my cock back into his tender hole. He instinctively took hold of his own cock, using my cum as lube, and shot his own load with in about fifteen strokes.
I got off the bed and began to get dressed in silence. ManBoy just stared off into space, intentionally not looking at me. When I was about half dressed he said
ManBoy: “Did you get off on that shit?”
Me: “What shit exactly?”
ManBoy: “Using me…like your personal fuck toy!”
I did not answer…just continued to get dressed. When I was ready to go I opened the door, but before leaving I turned and said,
Me: “When you are in town again call me if you want…or don’t… it is up to you”
ManBoy: “Right now…I don’t want to ever want to see you again…but we both know that I will call”
Me: “Yeah…we do”
With that I left to tackle my busy Saturday.
Me: Hello
ManBoy: Hey **** this is ****, we hooked up a couple of times
Me: Yeah, I remember, what’s up?
ManBoy: I am in town at the ***** hotel was wondering if you wanted to come over mess around.
Yeah, he said “mess around”, and I could tell that he obviously had just gotten in from the bars.
A bit of background…I met the guy about two years ago. I was in one of the more popular Dupont Circle gay bars for happy hour…not my usual thing but I made myself go out that Friday night after work…at times I have a tendency to keep to myself a little too much…boarding on the nonsocial…so my critics masquerading as friends tell me.
This guy, whom I call ManBoy here, is actually a few years older than me. But, with his slight and tight build (ex marine) and his forever high & tight haircut…he looks like he is pushing 30 instead of 50 when he put on a ball cap. I call it a blessing…he calls it a curse because his thing is mature muscular black men who often dismiss him as a twink at first. As a result, he is very aggressive about getting noticed by his target group.
The night we met, I saw him enter the bar with a couple of his friends. He noticed me right away, and spent the better part of an hour all but ignoring his friends while he concentrated on making eye contact with me. In the mean time, a bear/cub couple visiting from out west happened to be sitting next to me at the bar and they wasted no time engaging me in conversation and letting it be known that they would love for me to go back to their hotel room for a little fun. There was no way that was going to happen, but I certainly did enjoy their company, and as it was apparent that we were hitting it off, ManBoy actually left his friends and came to stand next to the couple and me. When the couple and I started to trade cell phone numbers, ManBoy jumped in and made it obvious that he too was taking down my number. When he got my number, ManBoy looked at me and I said, “I see you”. With that, ManBoy returned to his friends with a huge grin on his face. He called me within the hour with his hotel and room number. Long story short, we did fuck that night, but he insisted that I wear a rubber and I did because he and it was a hot scene. He had amazing ass muscle control. Once I got it in, he did the rest…massaging my covered cock until he came which pushed me over the edge and I came.
He comes to Washington often for business. We hooked up a second time a few months after the first, but this time we had communicated on-line several times before hand and the focus of those conversations was over the condom issue. In fact, I was really not that into hooking up again because I like and prefer to fuck bare. We were unable to come to terms on the issue but met up anyway to “mess around”, not necessarily fuck. That was a long session with a ton of oral. The highlight of that visit was my eating his ass…LOVED IT… he has an ass that tastes great, and he can really relax his sphincter so my tongue was able to go very deep in his hole…which drove him wild. By the end of that rimming he gave up the ghost and begged me to fuck him…even bare. I would not. Not that I was being pissy or anything like that…but I Run The Fuck…and he had to learn that lesson. He ended up getting himself off. Before I left, I pointed out that somewhere along the line, his Hard-line on using a rubber when out the fuckin window, and that if I were a man of lesser Honor, he would have cum leaking out of his butt hole right now. His response was to just look away.
Now back to a couple of weeks ago. When I realized it was him on the phone I was a bit irritated for two reasons…first off it was 2:00 fuckin o’clock in the morning. The second reason was that I knew of two other times he was in DC, and he did not contact me… so why now
In short, I told him to put his drunk ass to bed, and that I would be there at 7:00 AM. I would call him when I was on my way so that he could prep accordingly, and then I hung up the phone.
I arrived at exactly 7:00 AM. He answered the door nude, having just came from shower and prep.
There was some small talk…don’t remember hardly any of it as it was mostly nonsense except for when I mentioned that I notice he had been in DC a couple of times and he did not contact me. He gave me some bullshit excuse about thinking I was out of town because I travel so much. By this time I am now naked…I tell him that his answer/excuse is bullshit and push him back onto the bed.
After being with him a couple of times and chatting with him online, I am in his head…in short, I own him now. As he fell back on the bed, I came down on top of him…I know him…“His Thing”, “His Turn-on”… he gets off on the complete opposite of him…which is me. My big black body full on top of his slight white body…he shivered and his cock grew instantly rigid between our bodies.
The point of bringing up the fact that he did not contact me the last couple of times he was in DC was to establish a few things. First, that I have kept track of him…I know when he is in my town…he is not getting over or getting away with shit. Second, I know the reason he did not contact me was because I exposed his true desire of wanting me to take him bareback the last time we hooked up…what he SAID to the contrary notwithstanding. And Third, the fact that he did call me this time means that I WIN…he WILL take it however I give it to him…no debate, no discussion just submission.
And submit he did. I brought his legs up and immediately when to eat his delicious ass for only a couple of minutes though. He was getting into it and getting lose, but I did not want him too louse…not yet. There had to be a bit of punishment to account for not contacting me…for running from me. With just my spit a lube, I lined up the head of my fat black cock and with my muscular hips and thighs I drove into him…balls deep…first stroke…he cried out with a mix of pain and excitement. He begged me to wait and let him hit the poppers…I did. As soon as the poppers kicked in, I began to power fuck ManBoy. His knees where up around his ears, and I was pile-drive fucking him… coming almost all the way out before pile-driving back down into him. When his arms were not flaying about, he was gripping the bed covers tightly in both hands trying to manage the assault on his hole.
I worked up a good sweat working his ass over. I would alternate between power fucking him and eating him out. Each time I stopped to eat him after fucking him a bit, there was a nice layer of butt cream that just made me hornier and hornier. At times I can be a Top Pig
After about fifteen minutes of power fucking and eating ManBoy on his back, I put him on his knees at the edge of the bed. By now he was good and open, but as you bottoms know, there is a huge difference between taking dick on your back as apposed to on all fours…the angle is different, and it creates a whole different sensation. When I went into him on all fours, you would have thought I was penetrating him for the first time. He really struggled with this position, but at least in this position he could continue to hit the poppers at will…which he did. There was so much of that popper smell in the room that even I was starting to feel a little high…which made me fuck harder and faster.
As I talked about in a post a few months ago, I have become pretty good at that Sexual Kung Fu, so I would fuck him all the way up to and through orgasm, but I would halt the ejaculate and not come. This has the effect of allowing me multiple orgasms but because I did not shoot, my dick stays hard…harder in fact…and I just keep fucking.
I am sure that some of you are reading this and thinking that this is not about pleasure or fun…and if I am to be totally honest, which I try to be here…yeah, you are certainly more right than wrong. By this point….about thirty minutes into the fuck…I had had a couple of orgasms and really enjoyed eating his ass…I was fucking him now to make a point…a brutal…and perhaps over the top point. If you have been reading this blog from the beginning, then you know that this was the first time in a long time that I sort of went over to the “dark side” which I wrote about in the early posts of this blog. It is where the ultra aggressive side of me come out and it is much more about dominance and sometimes pain, than it is about pleasure. I try not to go to the darks side…tricks don’t come back from the dark side…in fact, they tend to avoid me at all costs.
I said “I sort of went to the dark side” because I caught myself before it got really bad here. ManBoy was hanging in with me as best he could but it was clear that he was going to be done soon.
I pulled my cock out of his hole…it was gaping open and beet red from the pounding I had just given it. While ManBoy was still on his knees, his whole upper body had collapsed flat against the bed. I gently rolled him over to his back again and rested his thighs on top of my thighs as I was now kneeling on the bed also. Amazingly, his cock was still three quarters hard. He looked at me with an exhausted, “what now” look on his face. Without saying a word, I directed his hands to stroke my nipples and I began to beat off. It did not take me long to literally cover his chest, stomach and groin with my thick globs of cum. As soon as I was done shooting, I gently nudged the head of my cock back into his tender hole. He instinctively took hold of his own cock, using my cum as lube, and shot his own load with in about fifteen strokes.
I got off the bed and began to get dressed in silence. ManBoy just stared off into space, intentionally not looking at me. When I was about half dressed he said
ManBoy: “Did you get off on that shit?”
Me: “What shit exactly?”
ManBoy: “Using me…like your personal fuck toy!”
I did not answer…just continued to get dressed. When I was ready to go I opened the door, but before leaving I turned and said,
Me: “When you are in town again call me if you want…or don’t… it is up to you”
ManBoy: “Right now…I don’t want to ever want to see you again…but we both know that I will call”
Me: “Yeah…we do”
With that I left to tackle my busy Saturday.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Holy Shit
I was trading emails not long ago with Bikeguy. I was admiring his blog and the way he writes just about the sex. I told him that I was going to try to do that…write just about the sex. I will have to try and do that on the next post Bikeguy… could not do it with this one.
I have delayed this particular post because it troubles me somewhat. However, as many of you know by now, this blog is as much about my own therapy as it is anything else. Additionally, several of you have taken to sharing with me, here or in direct emails, your comments, thoughts and different perspectives on the things you read in this blog. I have found almost all of your “reader input” to be most helpful. Consequently, I have decided to go ahead with this post and see what you all think.
A few weeks ago I was in Maine. If you have been reading this blog from the beginning you know that for a black muscled out top, finding a hookup in Maine is like shooting fish in a barrel. That is not at all meant to be disparaging toward men in Maine… it is more a commentary on the scarcity of black gay men in such a predominately white state.
Anyway, I have a good friend there who is a closet gay, and he knows of my proclivity for hot white ass.
I was there on a Thursday night. I had just unpacked my gear, setup the computer and logged on to one of the online sights. Within three minutes I had an IM from “Anonhole” who is a guy with whom I had chatted with before but decided to not hookup with him because, frankly, his pic was not that appealing to me. His IM went something like this:
Anonhole: “Hey 3B, how are you? Are you looking for some hot ass tonight cause if you are I am available and our MUTUAL friend ‘AlphaDog’ told me that I NEED to get with you”
Ok, a bit of background. AlphDog is my very good friend in Maine. He is gay, but very much on the Down Low. You know… one of those guys who has a great profile online, but NO picture… Yeah, I hate that too. Anyway, AlphDog is a middle aged white man with a huge cock that can never seem to get enough sex… male or female. He is very respected in the community, seems to know everyone and somehow, he always has the inside story on anything important. Over the three years that I have known him, I have come to trust what he says.
I had no idea that Anonhole knew AlphaDog, or if AlphaDog knew that Anonhole and I had chatted before. All I knew was that I was horny and probably would not have agreed to hookup with Anonhole except for he referenced AlphaDog. I made sure of the particulars…the nonsmoking thing… the thick cock thing… and oh yeah, the bareback thing. He passed muster and I gave him the hotel address and room number.
Ninety minutes later there is a knock at my hotel room door. I open the door and am DUMBSTRUCK. The guy standing in the door is about 30yo, Sandy brown hair, slim build with that guy next-door look. Not the guy in the picture at all, and I recognized him as the priest of a parish in a town about an hour North of where I was. A little over a year ago I had a brief work assignment near that town and had attended Service at the very where he serves. I felt bad after service because I spent most of the service wondering if he was gay. Some guys you just get a vibe about… and that Sunday I had the vibe about him… or maybe it was that I was particularly horny that day. Whatever the reason he made an impression on me then, and I quickly recognized him in the door of my hotel room. Now you see why I have been troubled about writing this post about … you all know that I fucked him!
Like most scumbags who post either fake pictures or pictures from several years ago, he did not walk in as soon as I opened the door. Instead, he stood there a moment waiting for some signal from me that I would play with him even though he was not the guy in the online
The work that I do requires that I minimize outward expressions of emotions. So the fact that a priest was at my door for the express purpose of being butt fucked… registered nothing on the outside… but all hell was breaking lose on the inside. Nonetheless, within a couple of seconds, my dick decided that… yes… I would fuck him… and yes, I would let him know that I know who and what he is.
Me: “Come in… I have been wanting to get with you for a while now ‘Mike’”
Now it was his turn for a surprise as he slowly walked through the door wondering how I knew his real name. As I closed the door he turned to ask me the question but I answered before he could get the words out
Me: “Our mutual friend AlphaDog mentioned you by name when we spoke last”
This was not true, but turning the table on him was not only enjoyable, it sort of set the tone that I was in control. Seeing him mentally go through the thought process of wondering if Alpha had also told me that he is a priest…frankly… made my dick super hard. Normally I hate the head games that guys play, but I found the head-trip I was putting him through to be as good ad foreplay for me.
We made polite small talk as we both undressed. I made it a point to do all I could to get him to come down from his state of high alert… only to enhance the effect of lowering the boom just a few minutes later.
When naked, he stepped to me confidently… which told me that I had been successful in getting him to lower his defenses. We kissed passionately and I must have told him during a previous chat that my Right nip, in particular, is the “On” switch cause after breaking the kiss, his tong went directly to that nip and worked it like a pro. Not that I needed it… my cock was already sticking straight out and hard as steel.
He soon dropped to his knees, said something stupid about how big and fat my cock is before opening his mouth extra wide and taking it in. I have to admit… dude could suck some cock… no teeth… strong lip pressure at the base… “and honey, that tong danced like nobody was watchin” (sorry for the campy gay line).
After a couple minutes of letting him do his thing, I caught the back of his head with my Right hand and started to face fuck him… hard! He was good and initially could take the head of my cock down his throat with out gagging…initially is the operative word here… after about a minute of solid, nonstop thrusting of my fat cock down his throat… it started to get the best of him. That slimy phlegm was all over my cock and dripping down his chin. His hands went from stroking the back of my thighs, to pushing on the front of my thighs, trying to get away. We struggled like this a bit more thrusts before I let him go.
I gave him a few seconds to catch his breath and sort of regain himself. He was on the floor on hands and knees, breathing hard. I stood above him stroking my slimy cock
Me: “Get on the bed… on your back”
Anonhole: “I do better if I start out on my knees”
I did not say a word… I just looked him directly in the eyes and shook my head “No”.
He caught the change in my demeanor and instead of arguing, he did as he was told.
On the bed with his legs pulled to his chest and a pillow under his ass, his hole was at the perfect angle for me to get the deepest penetration. I spit on his hole three times and once on my still slimy cock head and placed it at his opening. Before I entered him I looked him in the eye… I smiled and I waited for him to relax and smile back at me… then I lowered the boom.
Me: “I really enjoyed your homily last year Father Mike”
When he heard “Father”, his smile was instantly gone and it was at that very moment that I sank deep into him with a powerful thrust. I know it hurt him as he yelled out in pain.
I honestly did not know what his reaction would be… what he would say… if I would respond if he told me to stop…this was a priest after all, a position that I have always respected… so instead of waiting after that initial thrust to let his hole adjust to my girth, I just went for it. Leaning forward I pressed and held his knees to his chest and use the power in my hips quads and hamstrings to assault his hole… useing my fat cock like a battering ram.
Anonhole was loud. With every down stroke he yelled “Aah, Aah, Aah”. And things like
Anonhole: “ya...aa…oo …arrr…ripp…nn…eee ….plll…eee…zz”
I knew I was hurting him… and yeah… I feel terrible now, but I had slipped into that dark side of my sexual personality that feeds on the aggression. Even though he was very loud, I could not hear him… I mean, I could… but I couldn’t… probably does not make sense… it is hard to explain.
I think I fucked him like this for only about three minutes until I felt the hard slap from his right hand across my face. As quick as I went to the dark place, I back to myself and quickly pulled out of him with an audible pop. As soon as I let his legs go, he immediately put his hands over his hole and clamped his legs together…rolling onto his side.
I flopped down on my back beside him. Neither one of us said anything for about two minutes. I broke the silence with
Me: “Are you ok?”
Anonhole said nothing, he got off the bed and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
I beat myself up in my head pretty good while he was in there. When he came out, he walked over and sat next to me on the bed. Staring at the bedroom wall he said
Anonhole: “So… you know”
Me: “Yeah, I know… I have been to your church before”
Anonhole: “So what the fuck was that…some kind of punishment?”
Me: “No…at least that is not what I intended it to be…I…I am sorry…sometimes, I get carried away… I am so very sorry”
After another long pause, he said
Anonhole: “Look, I don’t know what you think about priests… but we too are human”
Me: “I realize that”
Anonhole: “Contrary to what you may think about me…. About… this…I don’t do this a lot. Maybe a couple times in a year… and usually only through another person who…who knows me well…knows about me… mostly other priests like me”
Me: “And your profile?”
Anonhole: “I just chat there…until now I have never met up with anyone on there and only did this time because…well ya know…Dennis (AlphaDog)… I don’t even have my real picture up there, obviously” he said with a slight smirk. Most times when I am horny, I get on there chat, look at pictures and beat off…usually that is enough for me.”
Me: “Look...Fa…whatever, I am sorry for being so rough… in my head I was going back and forth between being extremely turned on that I was fucking a priest to seeing myself burning in hell…and it was just… a reaction… like a kid who cant handle and emotional situation and lashes out aggressively cause he knows nothing else…I don’t know…ya know?”
Anonhole: “I forgive you and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me”
Me: “Forgive you for what?”
Anonhole: “For giving in to my carnal desire… for not being the Shepard that God intends for me to be to you and others”
Me: “Look Father, lets not do this now… not while we are sitting naked on a bed that we just fucked on”
Anonhole: “Agreed… some other time”
Me: “I will say this…the fact that I met you like this… makes me a stronger believer because as you sit here on my bed…freshly fucked… there is no denying that in addition to being one of God’s chosen, you are also gay… just like me.”
With that said, Anonhole turned and looked at me for the first time since he came out of the bathroom. He said nothing, but leaned over and kissed me with one of the most passionate kisses I have ever had.
With that we proceed to… well… I know some of you are going to hat this but… we did not fuck… we just sort of made out for the next hour. Before he left, we did manage to suck each other off… but the fuckin was done for the night…which…all things considered…was totally cool with me. By the way, the good Father delivered a MONSTER load…very tasty too.
In retrospect, I wish I had not fucked the priest for a couple of reasons. First, I just have a problem with it in my head…but like the good Father said, they are human too…I am just torn there. Second, I cant remember ever slipping over to the dark side like that so quickly and deeply. I truly fear that if he had not hit me when he did, I could have done some serious damage. Look, I like aggressive sex… no doubt… but I am not out to hurt anyone…especially in a situation when I am sort of out of control.
Sorry about this very long post that is more psycho than sex…but as I stated when I started this blog… I am writing it for me… to help me deal with my shit… you are welcome to read, comment and all that…and I will try to write shorter “just the sex” post…but I needed to get this one out of my head.
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